I Need A New Excuse!

I always thought that being left-handed was great, but I also thought that it was why I was, and continue to be, a klutz.  According to the Washington Post, being left-handed accounts for some of my verbal "skill", but it's not the reason I have permanent bruises on my shins from repeatedly walking into my own coffee table.

Take last night.  First, I poured some couscous into a measuring cup, then I opened the cupboard above the counter.  A bag of dried cranberries fell out and hit the cup of couscous, sending the little granules all over my kitchen.  Then I attempted to put the carton of milk back in the fridge without taking my eyes off of Family Guy, so I missed the shelf and the carton hit the floor.  As I struggled to clean up this sticky, pebbly mess, I let loose with a barrage of expletives that would have made John McCain cringe.  Anyone who happened to be in the hallway of my apartment probably thinks I have Tourette's.  Hell, sometimes I think I have it...

My point is, I had always thought that I was destined for a premature, if humourous, death because I'm left-handed.  Turns out, I'm just clumsy.  That's just so ordinary...