In the Daytime

I've been lying in bed for about 48 hours now, struck down with flu, it seems. I am exhausted and bored to sobs. My eyes are very tired, so I haven't been able to read much. I have an old TV in the bedroom, and I have discovered that daytime TV is the saddest place on the planet. I tried to find entertainment first with the Food Network, but you can only watch so much food preparation when you are nauseous and periodically projectile vomiting. At one point I seem to have drifted to sleep. I awoke to a Baby Daddy fight on Maury Povich. I have to assume I rolled onto the remote, because even high on Benylin I would never watch Maury Povich. My solace has been, oddly, the Military Channel. I watched most of a documentary series about the First World War. It was truly fascinating. In 1919, the victors re-drew the maps of Europe and the Middle East, and I think we can all agree they did a bang-up job with that!

Believe me, I channel-surfed. Even doped up, I can't enjoy The Facts of Life or Fantasy Island. Dr. Phil is a show of such epic train-wreck proportions that I believe I would emerge from a coma to change the channel if that blithering fool were on my TV. After a while, I just gave up, and dragged myself out of bed to do laundry. Maybe this is all a corporate conspiracy- in order to ensure people don't take too many sick days, Big Business got together to make sure that even with mountains of channels, daytime TV would still be awful. I'm planning to go back to work tomorrow, not because I feel all that great, but because I am so thoroughly bored I can't bear another day in this room. The daytime TV landscape, even with hundreds of channels, is a barren as one of those WWI battlefields.