Most of you have not traveled with me. Most of you are lucky. When it comes to traveling, I am the human equivalent of a silk dress you pack in your luggage- seems like a good idea before you leave, but once you get to your destination you realize you shouldn't have brought something that so easily becomes rumpled and useless.
We got to the airport in plenty of time. The flight was uneventful, but for me filled with crappy movies rather than sleep. After some confusion and the least attentive customs officer I have ever encountered, we made our way to the Leonardo Express train that would take us to Roma Termini Station. There we'd catch a swift Eurostar to Naples, hop the hydrofoil to Capri, and watch the sun set over the Mediterranean. Sounds Easy.
Except the Eurostar was fully booked by the time we found a ticket agent at Termini. She sold us tickets on the slower local train. It didn't leave right away, so we wandered the station. Ally was trying to buy holy water when I saw the time. "Oh my God, our train leaves in 4 minutes!!", I shrieked. We started to run, but to where? We checked our tickets for a track number (binario is the Italian word, and I suggest you memorize it now if you plan ever to go to Italy. It's infinitely useful.)- NOTHING! Nor did our tickets have the word NAPOLI anywhere on them. We didn't know where the hell we were going, but we had to be there in 4 minutes!
By this time, I had been awake for more than 24 hours, looked like something out of a sweaty zombie movie, and was getting stupider by the minute. I started shouting at Ally: " I don't know what to do! I don't know where to go!!". She managed to find a maintenance worker who flashed his fingers at us to total 13, so off we ran to binario 13.
We got to the train just as it was scheduled to leave. This is where I forgot we were in Italy. Though our seats were on car 9, and we were at car 1, I insisted we get on the train, sure it would depart any second. Yeah, right. Ally (you may call her The Voice of Reason) suggested we get off the train to walk to car 9, but I, sure the doors would slam and the rickety old train would bolt out of the station without us, would have none of it. Instead we fought our way through the standing-room-only, un-air-conditioned train, all the way to car 9. After shooing the squatters from our seats, and having our bags stowed by a hot Neapolitan businessman, we finally sat down. Then I noticed that the train still wasn't moving. We could have stopped for espressos and strolled to car 9. Oops.
Ally fell asleep, or pretended to, and I tried to relax. The train eventually departed, and made and made a stop or two, then, in the middle of nowhere, it stopped again. For 30 minutes. Ally kept pretending to sleep, so I muttered to myself like a crazy person, until the Welsh guy sitting next to me started responding. What was the problem??
Ally woke up, and I finally, fully lost it. I started quietly sobbing that we'd miss the last hydrofoil and be stuck in Naples that night, that we'd lose the money for our not inexpensive Capri hotel, that all was lost. We checked the guidebook and found that we'd still have an option for a slower boat to Capri, so I was able to calm down a bit. The train started chugging along, and I felt my blood pressure drop to a less dangerous level.
After an expensive taxi ride to the Molo Beverello port, we indeed caught the last hydrofoil, rode the funicular, and after a bit of aimless wandering, found our lovely hotel, Minerva, in Capri. We cleaned up, took a stroll through the town, and spent our first night in Capri on our large, lovely terrace with Prosecco and Caprilu cookies. The road to hell may be paved with good intentions, but the road to heaven is clogged with too many forms of transportation.
Awesome analogy on the silk dress. Won't say more than that... ;)
ReplyDeleteWhy didn't you make this funny?
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